Recovering Senses

I'm a meth user.

I'm not sure if writing this would spell trouble for me, but I need to write this down to remind myself and people out there that there's a lot to it in battles. I've been clean for 1 year now, and I'm keeping it that way, but like any temptations, they come in the form of a simple Watsapp jingle. I've block and rejected them but still they find a way to contact me.

I will be strong, I will recover from this and I will feel again the beauty of the things around me, things I've done in the past before meth, before my innocence destroyed by my very own hands and conscious. I want to feel happy again, about work, going to gym and be friends to people.

I'm a meth user.

I will not falter, I will stand strong, I will survive

I'm a survivor

Mind in Distress

Humans are funny, sad sod sometimes. It didn't took a genius to figure out if a person is ok and to add insult to injury,

"Are you OK? What Happen To You?"

That got me rolling my eyes like somewhere in a fantasy dream, I came 7 times with just The Destroyer up my ass and i'm loving it. Sometimes it's not the work, it's not the people, but the sabotaging whether the means are intentional or not, just seeps the energy away.

Been thinking what to do for the rest of my miserable life, by now i'm clean for 6 months, no drugs, no lewd thoughts of unsafe sex and no more excuses for not going to gym. Still I'm not happy, something is missing. Missing in the sense i'm having withdrawals when it came like a hurricane.

Help me to escape this repetitive loop. I'm tired.