Revelation comes at the most unprecedented hour, it hits you, blindly. I was at my 4th Bintang beer while watching tourists, with their bodies tanned to bronze, disgusting sights of old people with their asses hanging out for the world to see, the annoying screams of children humming like the bees in the vicinity. There I was relaxing at the patio of the restaurant puffing away the last 4 sticks of Malboro.
Thinking and contemplating, this trip was suppose to be a bonding outing with friends, regardless without them, my life would be a total dull. I'm grateful that my huge feet is standing at the Callego beach, infamous for its "Beach Boys" prostitution and I'm salivating just by thinking of it. I'm 26 years old, fresh out of the oven and earning a mere RM 2K plus monthly, still I am not satisfied with myself.
I hate it when emotions start stirring at the moment, this particular feeling lingers and I could not help but laughed at myself. A mockery some might say that most of my self-bashing are just insecurities nested in the darkest of places in my heart. Then the next thing I knew, my cheeks are wet. I said to myself,
"I want to fall in love again"
I finally found someone whom I fancied, maybe it was just the beer, but I could not stop thinking about him. Then again, I wouldn't know how he truly felt, but I really hope to start something beautiful with him. While sipping, crying and laughing, I've made some resolutions and make peace with myself, throwing out the old demons and replaced them with clarity. Maybe it was the temples, or maybe I'm trying too hard to be Elizabeth Gilbert, but I want him.
Thinking and contemplating, this trip was suppose to be a bonding outing with friends, regardless without them, my life would be a total dull. I'm grateful that my huge feet is standing at the Callego beach, infamous for its "Beach Boys" prostitution and I'm salivating just by thinking of it. I'm 26 years old, fresh out of the oven and earning a mere RM 2K plus monthly, still I am not satisfied with myself.
I hate it when emotions start stirring at the moment, this particular feeling lingers and I could not help but laughed at myself. A mockery some might say that most of my self-bashing are just insecurities nested in the darkest of places in my heart. Then the next thing I knew, my cheeks are wet. I said to myself,
"I want to fall in love again"
I finally found someone whom I fancied, maybe it was just the beer, but I could not stop thinking about him. Then again, I wouldn't know how he truly felt, but I really hope to start something beautiful with him. While sipping, crying and laughing, I've made some resolutions and make peace with myself, throwing out the old demons and replaced them with clarity. Maybe it was the temples, or maybe I'm trying too hard to be Elizabeth Gilbert, but I want him.
